Tales from the Great Elf War
by arisflame
Summary: Short one-shot stories centering around the cast from the Great Elf War universe.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer- While the plot-line of The Great Elf War comes from my own demented mind, the cast of it not so much. If you seen one of them some place else, it's a good indication that they belong to someone else.**

**A/N- Nope, not dead. Just busy. Got most of it finished about a week ago only to discover that my muse had decided to take a vacation without informing me. She got back two days ago, bringing back with her a couple stray plot-bunnies. I, unfortunately, have to deal with these bunnies first before they interfere too much with what I have planned. I call these strays Tales From the Elf War and I do expect many more Tales bunnies before I finish with TGEW. Tales is not a sequel or rewrite of tGEW, nor has tGEW been abandoned. What is posted here are the side-stories and drabbles associated to that story, and not all of the Tales scenarios are critical to the main plot- a good portion of them are in fact "what if" stories. **

**If all goes well (and all the newcomer bunnies are properly handled), TGEW should have a new chapter posted within the week. Tales, on the other hand, will be undated whenever a stray bunny appears, so the time between posting may vary considerably. **

**(This particular one is part of a 24 hour drabble challenge issued -and later betaed- by SereneTragedy. As such, I decided to see how many prompts I can include in this and still keep it under 1000 words. I managed to get all 4 prompts in with about 40 words to spare- hehe)**

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**- (Say What?) -**

**Draco Malfoy didn't understand why he had followed the Golden Trio to the waiting room. He was only there because of he had to stay with Potter at his godfather's insistence. It was not safe for any of them to be alone because of the chaos happening in the Wizarding World, so he was trapped with Muggle-lovers in the Faerie kingdoms with only a single hellhound puppy posing as an animagus for protection. A puppy that in the Wizarding World, was better known as Harry Potter or the Boy-Who-Lived and bounded to their Potions Professor. Potter, at least, had grown tolerable over the weeks that he knew him, but the other two members of the trio still made him grit his teeth. **

**The cause of his irritation this time were the words that had just come from Granger's mouth.**

"**You want me to play a Muggle word game?" he repeated in disbelief.**

"**Yes, unless you can think of something better!" she shot back. "They didn't exactly leave us anything to do and Sirius said that they should be back from the meeting within the hour."**

**As Draco grumbled at the reminder, Weasley asked, "So what exactly are we suppose to do with this game?"**

**Granger smiled brightly and said, "Well, we all sit in a circle and someone says a word, any word, and the person to their left has to say the first word that comes to their mind. The person on their left then has to work with that word. So, if I say 'Cotton candy', the next person could say 'fair' and after that someone could say 'day'. We keep going around in the circle until either we can not think of any more words or until Snape and the others get back.**

"**So, who wants to start?"**

"**It's your idea, Hermione, so you go first," Potter told her.**

"**Alright," Granger nodded, and then said the most outrageous thing she could think of, "Squid!"**

"**Ink," Weasley said cautiously, then grinned smugly after seeing his friends' approvingly looks.**

**Draco sighed when the group started at him waiting for an answer, "What? Oh, fine. Quill." **

"**Feather," Potter said immediately.**

"**Owl," Granger decided.**

"**Letters," Weasley said, obviously feeling a bit more confident than he should.**

"**Hogwarts," Potter was next.**

**Then Granger. "Classes." **

"**Potions," Weasley grimaced as he said his word.**

"**By the way, Weasel, did you remember yours?" Draco interrupted, ignoring the glares from the trio, before saying his word. "Snape." **

"**Asgre," Potter immediately answered, and it did not take a genius to know that the mutt was thinking about his mate.**

"**Valentines," Granger said brightly, remembering that asgre meant heart.**

"**Roses," Weasley looked a bit red at the word he had been given.**

"**Any specific color?" Granger asked curiously.**

**He thought about it before answering, "Yellow."**

"**Why yellow?" She asked.**

"**Yellow means friendship, right?" Weasley said darkly, "And except for Malfoy, we are friends."**

"**Nice one, Weasel. I'm impressed. You actually learned something from Herbology after all," Draco said in scorn, silently challenging the redhead to comment as Potter and Granger sent their own glares at Weasley and at him. They did have a truce and no one wanted something as stupid as a game to interfere while they were all trapped together so far from home. He knew enough now to stop irritating the mutt and witch even further so his next words were to answer her challenge instead, "Ring."**

**He could deal with the youngest Weasley son later. When they were alone and hopefully Mhen was on duty. The female hellhound let him get away with anything, he would just have to remember to repay her for that later.**

**It was Potter's turn and his answer did not disappoint. "Dueling."**

"**Messy," Granger said in distaste. **

**Weasley was still glaring at Draco as he absently responded to her words, "Bath."**

"**Scrub brush," Draco met his glare with one of his own.**

"**Bubbles," Potter responded, and Draco noticed that he sat a little more rigidly than before. It was only then he heard the soft whisper of the door shut that the mutt relaxed slightly.**

**Granger and Weasley obviously had not noticed as they continued their little game. "Soap" was the word that came from Granger's mouth while "water" was the one that escaped from Weasley's. He decided to end it as he looked up to see just whom exactly had walked in the door, "Squid. Are we done here now, sir?"**

**Seeing the pair jump as Snape spoke was well worth the embarrassment of playing such a ridiculous game, "Yes, you may go now. Lupin will lead you all back."**

**It was only then that he noticed the bemused werewolf standing timidly in the doorway. The trio were quick to their feet. Knowing Granger and Weasley, they wanted out of the two Slytherins' presence as quickly as possible. Tagging along behind them as they slipped into the hall after the wolf, Draco followed at a more leisurely pace hoping to catch whatever it was that Potter was saying to Snape.**

**Their conversation was really none of his business but he could help but wonder what his godfather thought of Granger's foolish notion. He was not disappointed when he heard Snape ask, "Just what was all that about?"**

"**Just a little bit of this and that," Potter said in amusement. "They had a bunch of good ideas. So, care to join me for a dip in the lake and some fun later on?"**

**Draco decided to pick up his pace. He really did not want to know what those two did in their free time.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer- While the plot-line of The Great Elf War comes from my own demented mind, the cast of it not so much. If you seen one of them some place else, it's a good indication that they belong to someone else.**

**A/N- This particular scene was written early in the initial writings as a joke between my beta and me as the result of a conversation regarding PWP and possible pairings for tGEW. She (along with Ley who had been helping me on and off in TK's stead) loved the result so much that they insisted that it remain part of the main plot after I informed them that I wouldn't be adding it to the final cut. Unfortunately I couldn't figure where exactly to put this scene. This is why I'm posting it here instead.**

**The real irony regarding this scene- neither one of them cares much for this pairing!**

**Oh, before I forget- thank you, SereneTragedy, for beta-ing this chapter also.**

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_- (Citrus?) -_

Harry and Snape returned to their private chambers dreading the worst. They had just passed Tonks and the twins in the hall and if their stumbling was any indication of their present state the trio was drunk . Narcissa, Sirius and Lupin were no where to be found, which did not really surprise them much. After learning about his true heritage, Sirius avoided Snape like the plague in fear of upsetting Harry and Lupin had spent of his time wooing his newly discovered but skeptical mate. The moment Harry and Snape entered, they promptly went looking for the other four members of their party.

They quickly found Luna fast asleep in a chair with an empty bottle lying on its side on the table next to her. Snape summoned for a house-elf to bring the girl back to her rooms as Harry went over to investigate the bottle.

"I don't think this is wine, love," Harry told his asgre, smelling the contents of the bottle.

"By wine, you mean the elf wine?" Snape asked already knowing the answer. The mellow but sweet elf wines were no stronger than butterbeer when drank by humans and were in no way capable of getting even a child drunk even if they drank the entire bottle themselves.

Snape looked at the bottle with a grimace before walking over to the bookshelf where it once sat. On the shelf where the large brown glass bottle should have been a lone bottle made of green glass sat undisturbed. There had been three bottles here at one time. The iompróir momentarily wondered where the last bottle had gone to before turning back to his mate.

"Yeah," Harry nodded, "So, is this bottle of our stock or did Tonks or one of the twins nab it from someplace else?"

"It's one of ours," Snape told him grimly. "It's the Spirits." On the other hand, Spirits, particularly Dwarf Spirits, were amongst the most potent liquors ever created. A full glass was enough to get even the hardiest of drunkards tipsy and was more than enough to floor four teen-agers. The entire bottle was empty except for a swallow.

The hunt for the rest of the teens began immediately without a single word spoken between them the moment they realized what had happened here.

A few minutes, Ron was found later with a raging hard-on passed out in the doorway to the bathroom. He was dressed only in a left pink sock, a lacy white bra put on inside out and backwards, with a pair of women's cream and chartreuse polka-dotted panties on his head. Harry did not want to know to whom the underwear belonged to or where they came from. As it was, this was one side of his friend Harry could have done without seeing. He knew he would be having nightmares the moment he fell asleep after this.

They then followed sounds of grunts and moans to their bedroom, only to find Hermione and Draco biting and clawing at each other as they pounded into one another like a pair of dogs in heat.

"At least they made it to a bed," Snape said with a sigh, turning away and closing the bedroom door behind them.

Harry complained, disgusted, "But did it have to be ours? Those sheets were just cleaned this morning."

"They can always be cleaned again," his asgre reminded him.

Harry just sighed, "Yeah, but it'll take at least a week to air that smell out of our rooms. I don't want to be thinking about what 'Mione and Malfoy were doing in there whenever I'm in bed with you."

Snape grimaced, remembering just how sensitive of a nose his pup possessed, "I send for a new bed in the morning." His response was met with an excited hug and squeal.

The things he did to keep his puppy happy.

_cwn_

Shortly before the rising of the sun, Hermione was awakened to a soft brush of something against her neck and a husky whisper in her ear that said, "Want to go again?"

She was comfortable and his movements felt so good, "Oh yes…"

_cwn_

_In another part of the rooms Harry and Snape listened to the sounds coming from their bedroom with a mix of amusement and bewilderment._

"_Again?" Harry asked his mate, "How many times is that now? Four? Five?"_

"_Since we arrived, at least three," Snape agreed, "but there's no telling how many times before then there were."_

_Harry grunted, irritated, "Those two are like a pair of rabbits. Isn't Malfoy supposed to be a snake or something?"_

"_Be happy that Draco did not live up to that specific namesake or we would be having an orgy on our bed instead," Snape reminded him, not all surprised when Harry shuddered at that mental image._

"_Eeewww!" Harry remarked. "Don't say such things. Seeing Ron naked and horny was bad enough."_

_An hour later, a feminine shriek echoed through the quarters drawing a grin to Harry's face as he noticed his asgre's bemused face._

"_It sounds like Hermione's finally awake."_


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer- While the plotline of "The Great Elf War" comes from my own demented mind, the cast of it not so much. If you seen one of them some place else, it's a good indication that they belong to someone else.**

**A/N= I know I promised two chapters but am only able to post one, and this one would have gone up sooner if hadn't gotten sick (and still am!). The smaller of the bunnies (er- chapters) decided to do a disappearing act on me forcing me to spend some time looking for it. This is the larger of the two, and if the MIA bunny ever shows up again, I'll be sure to post it also (not that I'm sure that I could get more than a paragraph or two out of it anyway)…**

**-M-preg warning!-**

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- (Quiet Times) -

Harry warily stared at the cluttered corner out of habit as he hurried back into the cottage he shared with his asgre over the last twenty years. That mess was the prime reason for his being there instead of with his family down by the river as he was eager to return as quickly as possible. Somewhere underneath the opposing piles of papers, books, and assorted broken or bizarre odds and ends lay an ancient Muggle cherry wood teacher's desk that the Lady Freya had given them as a housewarming gift. From its timely arrival to the present, the desk remained a conversation starter as their Wizarding friends inquired as to why that one corner remained a mess even when the rest of the house was spotless. Each object on that desk possessed a memory that was precious to Severus and him and neither could bring themselves to just throw it away, no matter how damaged it was.

"You certainly could not have found a better spot, could you?" Harry sighed as he approached the mess. Several hours earlier his youngest started wailing for Mr. Dinky that had disappeared sometime during the chaos that was their typical morning meal. It had taken Severus merely an hour to get her brother to confess that he hid it before they had left on today's outing as retaliation for getting him in trouble with their parents the night before.

Being the quicker of the two, Harry had promptly volunteered to track down and retrieve the small polka dotted stuffed toy. Looking at the oppressive pile of clutter that stood in his way, Harry was beginning to regret his decision.

He had a feeling that he was going to be there for a while.

Instead, he swallowed and began to sort.

The books were the first thing to be put aside. While they all contained various subjects, the books could all be traced to a single source: Hermione. His best female friend had taken it into her head after a passing comment to show him as much of the Muggle World as she could through books. The books that were presently on the desk were places that Harry had taken his mate and children in the recent years. He wasn't sure if there was a souvenir or two on the desk as well, but he wouldn't doubt it.

Amongst the rest of the clutter were photographs from the over the years that needed to be sorted, and statements for property and finances and these he placed with the books in a separate pile. Harry suspected that his marriage license to his asgre was also somewhere in the mess. His search also turned up some Muggle goggles, three broken balloons left over from one of the children's birthday parties, a broken string to a yo-yo that had disappeared years ago, two hairbrushes and a rubber duck but no stuffed dog.

Harry stared at the duck in bemusement before remarking, "That never did make it back to Mr. Weasley."

He also gently pocked one of the hairbrushes, with the intent to put it to use later. Severus had been looking for it a few months ago and Harry couldn't deny his mate anything; especially now that the iompróir was heavy with their newest child. The pregnancy left his otherwise sharp-tongued and cunning mate rather peaceful and easily exhausted and if Gwynnwy-chi had not also been there to look over the children, he would not have gone at all.

Harry then felt something poke him in the hip, forcing the Wybir to grin sheepishly. After his time sent as a hellhound, his Wizarding magic was usually a forgotten last resort. He would have to thank Darby and Narcissa Malfoy once again for helping him get his wand back.

"_Accio _Mister Dinky!" Harry drew his wand and commanded, smirking as the yellow and lavender toy dog collided into his awaiting hand from one of the desk drawers that hadn't been fully closed. The summoning of the dog also brought out a long length of yarn and entangled comb with several teeth missing. Harry sighed as he untangled the toy from the lime green yarn, wondering where the tangled mess came from. The comb, at least belonged in the mess that was 'the desk'.

It had been his eldest's first comb.

"I think that is everything," He thought before giving the mess one last look. The mess wouldn't be going anywhere and he was in a hurry.

"I think I will see you later," He said before leaving.

_dáiríre_

That night after the children were all settled into their own beds, Harry settled into his evening ritual of snuggling with his mate. The original ritual of snogging and cuddling had evolved over the years to also include the bathing, hair brushing and massaging of his pregnant mate during the duration of Severus' first pregnancy, but Harry found the ritual equally soothing.

Severus had known after the first stroke through his long thick hair that his brush had been replaced and looked curiously at the offending item, "Where did you find it?"

Harry chuckled, "In the desk, naturally, amongst five years of photographs and that book safe that Ron and Hermione gave us last year. Speaking of which, when did we acquire a tangle of yarn… and why? Mr. Dinky was rather friendly with the mess."

Severus snorted at the question, "That toy is a nightmare… that tangle, as you call it, was your daughter's first successful attempt at a cat's cradle. I presume that Ms Weasley or one of her Muggle-born friends taught her."

"There is always a reason," Harry answers, chuckling, continuing the soft even strokes that had his mate hum in pleasure.

Severus didn't bother to open his eyes as he comments, "That may be but if I hear one more comment about my hair…"

Harry broke off his brushing to fondly kiss his cheek, "Then they deal with me. I happen to like you hair like this." Severus' hair now reached his waist and was normally kept braided in order to allow maximum maneuverability for his wings. Several members of the Weasley family, not just the ever practical Hermione, wondered why he did not cut it back to the length it had been at while they were at Hogwarts.

"That length is a remnant of a past best left forgotten," Severus had said then and repeated now.

"Yes, especially when they are much better memories to be put in their place," Harry said teasingly as his abandoned the brushing in favor of the taste of his mate's neck.

"You're lucky, Pup, that I'm only capable of carrying one child at a time," Severus retorts as he tilted his head slightly to give the Wybir better access, "or we would be neck deep in children by now."

Harry grinned at that, "And you are lucky enough to have a mate that happens to like children. Care to continue this somewhere more comfortable?"

"Gladly," Severus answered, allowing him to be lead to their bed where another sweet memory would be made.


	4. Notice

2/21/13= I'm sorry to say but from this moment on I will no longer be posting any more fanfiction here or on any other site. I know that several people have requested that I continue The Great Elf War, but I find that I can not do it. I have suffered too many health and technical problems over the last year for the effort to be worth it, but losing THREE years worth of work on my originals because of one fanfic is the final straw. I love fanfiction, but writing it has never been anything more than a hobby for me.

I will leave the stories up but at this point consider them abandoned.

Lissa


End file.
